What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
