dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize