It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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