4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
