Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
love makes seman taste better
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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