Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
