you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
