i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
