they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
