At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize