Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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