FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
