I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
