I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
