So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
