my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
