I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
