I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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