super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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