is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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