She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
