My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
