i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize