i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
