Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
