Whod you bang
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
