There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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