carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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