Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
