So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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