My friends, they love my intelligence
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
