Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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