If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
