Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
