just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
