I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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