We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
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