My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
