I think my fart just growled at me.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
