I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
