Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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