Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
