he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Do vagina's smell?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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