it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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