You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Randomize
