Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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