She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
