I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
