you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize