You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Bring me that man meat
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
