So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
