I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize