I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
