ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
