oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
