What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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