Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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