i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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