What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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