i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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