I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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