This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
