Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
