super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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