Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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